An Open Letter to Excitement
Heya Excitement (“You”),
I hope you don’t mind that I’m addressing you publicly. You’re the type of emotion that doesn’t seem to mind.
You go by these: magnetic. effervescent. dynamic. enthusiastic. giddy.
Words big enough in meaning that no formality, or capitals, are needed to elevate Your importance.
You take your own space, quickly, and with momentum. You seize every part of me- an electrifying pull towards possibility.
I believe that possibility is what we need more of, especially in a world full of overwhelm, distrust, and endless discouragement.
You call me awake- from my own status quo, mediocrity, and potent inertia.
I appreciate what you do, and realize that many a time, I’ve been attached. I like the rising sensations of happiness and energy that you bring. I like the energy I can create in a group that’s stuck or on a hard wilderness adventure, when everything seems to be going wrong.
Excitement can bring positivity and momentum– You can see the good even in the hard things.
Given that, I realize this is an odd letter to write, but it was time we had a heart-to-heart.
The Truth about Excitement
The other week You came by storm, carried by the natural energy of a large gathering. There You stoked my imagination, beckoning me towards new ideas and possibilities.
I became so energized by these new ideas- I allowed myself to become distracted. Distracted not only from what I was already doing, but distracted from my bigger, deeper intention of where I place my heart.
You took me down!
You led. I surrendered. Fast.
Everything I touched, thought, and sensed was cloaked in pure joy and energy.
The art of possibility. Tons of it. Mad splashes of paint everywhere, hinting at a future Tom Thompson.
But listen, I’ve wisened up over these years of witnessing and introspection.
I’ve learned to be a bit more cautious and compassionate when you visit. Through many moments of in/evolution when I’ve let you in, I’ve hurt other people’s hearts- including my own.
Too much of You, Excitement, can erase other voices, emotions, resistance, hesitancy, and deeper wisdom.
Luckily this time, Your intense stay woke me up. And when You took your energy elsewhere, I was left alone to come home and sense in.
Longing to be close to my Intention
I’m not sure if You’ve noticed, but I’ve got a longing that never abates. It clings to me like my favorite black turtleneck, nudging me to fully express my own authenticity and find the right ways to serve my community.
I’ve come to realize that my longing, luckily, is louder than You.
I could hear it, because I remembered to get still. (Still like the times I’m in my tent and think a Grizzly is near, so I stop moving and even breathing, so I can really hear).
After You left, I was able to still my bones and listen another way: less to the magnetic pull and more to the grounded bones of my intention.
You probably haven’t read it yet, but my kids’ book The Other Way to Listen, by Byrd Baylor, talks about this.
The Other Way to Listen
I’ve decided to listen to “grey”- a colour, a statement of mood, the November/December thing people say when we talk about the weather.
But listening in to “grey”, I can see the bending of light particles. I can see the interplay of whites, soft purples, and hues of eggshell in the sky.
There are infinite shades of grey, that bend and flex into others.
So when You left, Excitement, I stopped saying “it was grey outside today”. I made sure I was listening not only to Your magnetic current, but tuning into a more subtle living stillness.
What’s that you say?
Well, it’s the breath of my own intention. Of why I’m here and what I’m called to do.
My intention needs a careful listen. It needs the interplay of colour and quiet and stillness.
Again and again.
***
I know You meant no harm with the boisterous visit. I’m quite energized, thank you.
But I want You to know that, despite my weakness for new ideas and possibilities, I’m going to stay closer to my intention.
PRACTICE FOR YOU
Excitement can enliven, but also distract. Distract or dull your intentions, true North, and what is called for in the Present moment.
Come into relationship with the nuance of your own Excitement, and its other shades: overconfident, thrilled, enthralled, giddy…add your own :).
- Sense into how it’s presenting in your body. This is in the realm of sensation. Where does ‘excitement’ live?
- What kind of narrative does it speak? What is your inner thought pattern?
- What kinds of decisions are you pulled to make when you’re in this state?
- How does Excitement mask what you need to stay integrally connected to?
- To explore more deeply, I invite you to take out your journal, or smartphone and do a ‘stream of consciousness’ write for 7 minutes and answer these prompts:
- “Welcome [emotion]…You are here because….
- “What I must not forget is….”
- “My intention in this moment is….”
- “I am nourished by…”
Now, I’d LOVE to hear from you! Scroll below and add a quick comment below. Tell us, what emotions distract you from your true intentions? And, what do you do to bring you back?
Xo,
Jennifer
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