Recently over coffee with friends, I realized that I was doing the very thing I gently remind others about.
Me: “I think I need to take another course before putting something out there.”
My wise friends: “I think you have enough already to offer this”.
Me: “Ugh…you’re right” (Noticing that my heart knew this all along.)
I am enough. You are enough. Maybe you’ve heard this a lot already- thanks to Brene Brown’s research on shame, vulnerability, and perfection and its relationship with any kind of innovation. But it’s worth talking about again, because it matters.
So here’s a fun way into this.
My First TV
I’m not sure what decade you came of age. If you were watching Netflix on Saturday mornings, because you were old enough to know the Wi-Fi password and where mom hid the iPad- you may be too young for this pop culture throwback.
I remember the moment when I got the good news. I was wearing my green cords and yellow button up sweater waiting for my dad outside our Catholic school in a small suburb of Edmonton. My father pulled up in our green1965 Volvo, and gleefully yells, “we’ve got a colour TV!”
The country kid scores.
Not only because this meant no more CBC nightly news with Knowlton Nash on a flickering black and white screen. But because Saturday mornings were the day my parents slept in. And on that sacred day, we could not wake them up before two cups of hand ground coffee were downed. So TV was my sister and I’s magic morning time-filler -out in the boonies (that is a real word used in Alberta in the 80s).
Ironically, in some ways my parents didn’t believe in TV (except for Knowlton and Hockey Night in Canada). But despite their values, the colour box arrived, promising flicker-free entertainment.
With Channels 03, 05 and 13 you’d take what you could get. Channel 03 (CBC) was pretty much was the top of the heap, providing a reprieve to the onslaught of TV infomercials that sold abnoxious things like “the clapper” (You curious? It was the 80s version of “Ok Google”).
THE 80s SHOW
(my #throwbackthursday)
If you listened to Duran Duran records – you might remember this preschool show, Sesame Street. It was an educational show that played late into the 90s- a collaboration between creative geniuses like Jim Hensen and Frank Oz with the puppets Elmo, Big Bird and a sidekick of grownups and kids.
Honestly, I think I was a bit old to be watching Sesame Street at the age of 7, but if you’ve never had a functioning TV, you didn’t care what you watched.
The main character, Big Bird, had an imaginary best friend, a fluffy mammoth named Mr. Snuffleupagus. (I can hardly say that now, without butchering his name).
For many years, no-one believed Mr. Snuffleupagus existed. He was kind, shy, and hard to see. (How could he not be? He was an extinct mammoth.) When cultural norms began to change, the producers realized that it was a bad idea to make main characters that adults didn’t believe was real. Finally, years later, in a big back alley reveal, Mr. Snuffleupagus was visible to all.
Mr.Snuffleupagus exists and so does your ‘enoughness’
So here’s the link (if you were wondering where this was going).
Like Mr. Snuffleupagus, it’s easy to ignore and make visible what we’ve embodied. It’s easy to focus on what we believe is lacking and what we don’t have.
Leaning on Brene Brown for a moment here, research has shown that the voice of shame– (if you want more on this, you might enjoy this post) often convinces us that we’re not enough.
If we’re using broad-brush strokes of human development (which varies for each of us, depending on personality, culture, and sense belonging), we might (at different stages) say these kinds of things.
In our teens: “I don’t have the right shaped joggers to fit in with the cool kids”.
In our twenties: “I’m not doing something unique enough, to get noticed”.
In our thirties “I’ve got to push so I can be of value and not let anyone down”.
In our forties: “I need more x so I can be considered an expert”.
In our fifties: “Am I contributing enough to make a meaningful difference”?
(You can come up with ones for the 60s and beyond 🙂 ).
YOU ARE ENOUGH!
So I had a moment this week where I suddenly realized that I was on autopilot. Again, I was feeding an inner story of not-enoughness.
My memory of the surprising and unsurprising existence of Mr. Snuff-ENOUGH-agus (ha!) is my humorous reminder that at any stage of development, it’s easy to ignore what’s already there.
Over to you: where in your own leadership do you question your worth, value, or contribution? If so, can you feel underneath this questioning and sense into your body whether it really rings true?
Often when we pay attention to our somatic sensations (and not our thinking mind), we find a true answer that is sourced from a deeper knowing.
So when my friends caught me in the middle of my grasping this week, I could tell that my body knew that I didn’t really need that extra course.
Whether it’s a challenging engagement initiative, bringing your team together to have a hard discussion, or stepping into a new evolution of your creative self- remember you are ENOUGH.
We all need a #throwbackthursday reminder sometimes.
xo,
Jennifer
