Leaders are slammed
I’m often surrounded, at bedtime, with about eight or nine books on the floor. Stacked, angled, or alone, the array of literature, non-fiction, and meditations invite me in.
As a leader, with solutions to find and decisions to make for social change, an illusion of urgency used to fill every niche in my life. And truth be told- sometimes it still does.
Urgency is most often an illusion. It transpires from our love-affair with productivity, busyness and outcomes. Our professional badges of honour and merit are too often derived from how hard we hammer.
And we hammer until we’re slammed from all sides, and still when asked “how are you?”, we say “fine, thanks”.
Yet we are not fine.
As leaders trying to shift cultures and systems in the ongoing tsumani of uncertainty- the will to address every panic, upset, inequity no matter what erodes our ability to be present, resilient, and calm.
Instead, with the onslaught of 24/7 information, distraction, and opining- we are beckoned into the illusion of urgency and lose our ground as embodied leaders.
Slow Down
My father used to say to me “if you think you’re going too slow, slow down”. He’d wisely (and exasperatingly) observe my state of exhaustion that resulted from being ‘in speed’. From a high-speed crawler, to a run-into-the-walls tween, and later as an adventure seeking 20-year-old- getting fast somewhere, to do something was part of my way of being.
This embodied love of speed translated well into the world of work- whether graduate school, non-profit, or executive leadership.
I worked non-stop, held high expectations of myself, and brought a dedication that flowed so strongly it could quickly undercut my health and relationships.
From my perspective, I was rising to what was expected.
An energetic, young professional woman who cared deeply to create social change, was hungrily consumed by organizations that needed all of me.
Urgency was everywhere- and my willingness to cultivate the illusion gradually wore me down.
It was then to my father’s absolute delight when I was given “slow walking” (like Japanese Butoh slow), for a practice as I trained as an Integral Master coach™.
He actually couldn’t stop laughing when I told him on the phone and partially couldn’t believe that somehow I’d actually follow through with it.
So the ‘extreme slow walking’ that I began practicing, began to work my nervous system, mind and heart- attuning me to the present moment.
And I began to remember.
Remember all the times silence had surrounded me as a child and in the unfolding of my being.
I began to remember what Indigenous writer Richard Wagamese says in his book Embers “I am my silence. I am not the busyness of my thoughts or the daily rhythm of my actions. I am not the stuff that constitutes my world. I am not my talk. I am not my actions. I am my silence. I am the consciousness that perceives all these things.”
Silence is deep support for committed leaders of social change
The impulse to solve, soothe, and move is one that binds committed leaders of social change together.
We understand the complexity of root causes, and the importance and hard work, of bringing a diversity of perspectives and voices together.
Our bodies and hearts are often the last that receive attention- eroding our resilience and emotional energy down to the bare bones.
You can counter this erosion with a return, and remembering, of those sweet moments of silence.
Practice- “Silent on Spotify”
Imagine you put in your ear buds and pressed play on the Spotify “playlist” “Silence”. You hear nothing.
No babbling brook, no rustling leaves, no gently lapping waves on a beach. Just nothing.
Your practice this week is to dip your toe into silence, in a way that feels a bit edgy.
(You define edgy- but you’ll know ‘edgy’ when a new practice feels a bit uncomfortable in your body. That is, it pushes you just enough to get a taste of a new ‘muscle’.)
BEGINNER: If you’ve never intentionally explored being in silence you can start here. Find a quiet place and sit or lie down and just ‘hear’ silence. If you live in a place that has few walls, use ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones. Try this for just 2-3 minutes at a time- one or two times/day.
MIDDLE: If you are accustomed to taking walks or driving with music or podcasts, deliberately do the activity without. You could up the edginess, by asking a friend or your partner to sit in silence with you for 5 or 10 minutes.
ADVANCED: If you are practiced at 15-30 minutes of meditation in silence, try just ‘being’ quiet or still but without the goal of ‘doing your meditation’. To bring in an interpersonal component, you could start a crucial meeting with 3 minutes of silence to build rapport, connection, and centering.
Whatever your edge is with silence, see if you can play with its boundaries (or boundlessness…depending how you look at it :)).
Then in the comments below, share with the community- how does silent impact you? Your leadership? Your presence or resilience?
In solidarity to our collective unfolding,
Jennifer
PS. To build a meaningful life and an equal world, coaching can be a powerful accelerator. To learn more about how coaching can support your leadership now, click here to book a Free Discovery Session. I’d love to meet you!
